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My Ideal Partner Essay

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My Ideal Partner Essay & paragraphs for Students

The concept of an ideal partner is a deeply personal and subjective one, shaped by individual preferences, cultural influences, and personal experiences. This essay aims to delve into the characteristics and qualities that, in my perspective, make up the archetype of my ideal partner.

Table of Contents

Essay On My Ideal Partner

An ideal partner is not about achieving perfection, but rather about compatibility and shared values. It involves finding someone who complements you and with whom you can cultivate a fulfilling relationship.

Emotional Compatibility: The Keystone of a Relationship

Emotionally, my ideal partner would be one who understands and respects my feelings. They should possess empathy, patience, and the ability to provide emotional support in times of distress, forming the cornerstone of our emotional bond.

Intellectual Compatibility: A Meeting of Minds

Intellectual compatibility is another key aspect of my ideal partner. I place high importance on intellectual engagement, and thus, my ideal partner would be someone open to intellectual discourse, enabling us to learn from each other and broaden our horizons.

Shared Values and Interests: Building Common Ground

Having shared values and interests significantly enhances relationship compatibility. In my ideal partner, I seek shared beliefs, moral values, and common activities that we both enjoy. These shared elements form the foundation of our mutual understanding and connection.

Honesty and Trustworthiness: The Pillars of a Strong Partnership

Honesty and trustworthiness are paramount in my definition of an ideal partner. They should value honesty, display integrity in their actions, and prove themselves reliable and trustworthy, fostering a sense of security and trust within the relationship.

Respect and Equality: Nurturing Mutual Respect

In my ideal partner, I seek someone who respects me as an individual and treats me as an equal. They should value my opinions, support my ambitions, and appreciate my individuality, fostering a sense of equality and mutual respect.

Personal Growth: The Evolution of the Self and the Relationship

Personal growth plays a significant role in a relationship, involving individual development and collective evolution within the partnership.

Supporting Personal Growth: Fostering Individual Development

My ideal partner would be someone who encourages my personal growth, supports my ambitions, inspires me to improve, and stands by me as I strive towards my goals.

Growing Together: Evolving as a Couple

Growing together involves adapting, compromising, and working on improving the relationship. My ideal partner and I would strive to continuously enhance our relationship, overcome challenges collectively, and make shared decisions that benefit both of us.

Valuing Independence: Preserving Individuality

While togetherness is vital, it’s equally important to maintain individuality in a relationship. My ideal partner would respect my need for personal space and independence, allowing me to pursue my interests and have time alone when necessary.

Cherishing Togetherness: Celebrating Unity

Conversely, my ideal partner and I would cherish our moments of togetherness. We would enjoy shared activities, create lasting memories together, and value the quality time we spend with each other.

Conclusion: My Ideal Partner – A Mosaic of Qualities

In conclusion, my ideal partner would possess a blend of qualities that contribute to a healthy, fulfilling relationship. They would be emotionally and intellectually compatible, share common values and interests, and display honesty, trustworthiness, respect, and equality. They would foster my personal growth, value my independence, and cherish our unity. While this ideal may not exist in absolute perfection, it serves as a guiding framework for the qualities I value in a partner and aspire to bring to a relationship myself.

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My Ideal Husband Analysis

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My Future Husband

My future husband | | | | |Along the road from cradle to grave many of us get married. This in itself can cause more emotional disturbance than all the | |other events of our lives combined. Many factors make the difference between marital bliss and having “an old ball-and-chain” | |but the most important factor is probably whom we choose to marry. That is why I often meditate on the qualities I would seek in| |my future wife. |To be honest, the first thing I notice when I meet a girl is whether she is pretty or not. Long lashes and sparkling eyes do not| |cause someone to “fall in love at first sight”, of course, but few people go round seeking ugly mates. I am no different. | |Of course, I would also prefer to have a wife who is intelligent. Some men have the stereotyped “dumb blonde” image of a perfect| |woman. However, I know my life will be enriched by having an intellectually stimulating partner to share my thoughts with, and | |to offer fresh insights to old situations.

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More importantly, a husband and wife should be intellectually matched so that they | |can understand each other. | |Sports and games and other recreational activities are fun and foster closer ties. Who better to enjoy sports with than my wife? | |This will draw us even closer together. A wife should, after all, be a true friend whom I can have fun with and want to spend my| |leisure activities with. So, my ideal mate will be someone who participates in the games and sports I like or at least, be | |willing to learn them. | |Often, quarrels between husband and wife concern other family members.

Your wife may be perfect but her parents may be | |irritating beyond comprehension. There was, for example, an incident in City Center where one man’s mother-in-law came to stay. | |One day, she cooked and ate his pet dog for dinner! So, I always say that one’s future in-laws should always be checked | |carefully before one makes decisions about marriage. | |If you are dead tired after a long, frustrating day at work, a loving wife who comforts you and listens to your problems can | |really make a difference.

So I would say, a sympathetic, caring kind of woman is the only one with whom I would make any | |commitments for marriage. | |Commitment is very important on her part, too. If a girl isn’t prepared to be faithful to you but she marries you anyway, | |chances are she’s going to run away and leave you one day, for your best friend, perhaps. | |I realize that I have listed a whole string of qualifications for my future wife. Well, if I can find all these qualities in one| |woman, I will really consider her The Ideal Wife. However, chances are, with a girl like that, everyone else will be trying to | |win her hand, too.

So, I’ll be in for a tough time! Furthermore, as the proverb goes, “The best laid plans of mice and men can | |fail”. More than likely, I will meet a girl one day, fall in love and get married. And even though she might not be perfect, | |I’ll love her, and, through the years, that might just be enough. | | | | | | | | |

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A Letter for My Future Husband

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How to plan for the future in a relationship

At any time in your life, it is easy to feel lost when you don’t have stable future plans. Whether you are looking forward to something within the next week or year, having a goal in mind can help to implement a sense of purpose.

Planning for the future is also integral in maintaining the stability of a relationship. Setting time aside to think about and acknowledge the future with your partner has a vast number of benefits for the happiness of your relationship.

In this article, we discuss why it is important to plan for the future as a couple and the steps you can take together to achieve a plan.

Why is planning for the future important?

Planning for the future is integral in creating a strong and lasting relationship. There are many reasons why planning your future can strengthen a relationship, a primary one being how it brings partners together.

Thinking back to when you first began dating, perhaps without realising, you most likely included one another in your plans regularly. By talking and discussing these early future plans together, whether big or small, it creates a bond. There is no reason for this bond to stop developing and producing plans is a steady way of maintaining a romantic relationship.

How it affects other areas of the relationship

Planning for the future as a couple has a domino effect for other areas of your relationship.

Discussing your future as a couple acknowledges that you both want to be together. In turn, this can provide a sense of trust in the relationship because it shows you are both committed to being together in the future.

With a feeling of support between one another, it can increase levels of intimacy as you feel like you are part of a caring and loving team.

What life qualities do you want?

The first step in planning your future is to acknowledge what you individually want from life.‍

What aspects of life do you like? What would you like to experience more of? What would like to have the opportunity to try?

Here at Remainly, our online video service offers a diverse selection of exercises that couples can complete individually, or together, to get to the heart of these big life questions.

One of the activities we recommend is the ‘Rocking Chair Test’: Imagine yourself as your older self on a rocking chair answering the key questions of life. These include the consideration of what you are happy and disappointed that you have spent much of your life doing.

The next step is to come together and discuss your answers. Discover the similar and different thoughts you have and then decide what parts you could revise to ensure you will pass the rocking chair test regret-free.

Talk about hopes and dreams

For some, opening a discussion can be a scary thought, but it is the only way you can transfer your vision of the future from your head to real life.

To get to the truth of what you both want for your future together, you need to ask meaningful questions. Not only will this be beneficial for planning your future, but it will also enhance your levels of intimacy as you start to consider one another’s deepest dreams and desires. You need to encourage one another to discuss each other’s hopes for the future openly.

For the discussion to work correctly, both parties must be honest in their communication.

Life is continually changing, and plans can’t always stay the same. However, keeping one another updated about how you feel and your future desires increases your levels of communication. It is this acknowledgement and inclusion which helps to maintain a happy relationship.

Listen intently

Another vital aspect when planning the future as a couple is to ensure you are listening and understanding one another. Instead of offering ideas or advice, you need to seek out as much information about your partner’s desires as you can.

This means absorbing what they are saying, encouraging them to speak and asking open questions such as ‘Can you tell me a bit more about that?’

By actively listening, not only does it benefit planning for the future, but it also displays emotional support which makes your partner feel understood.

Consider each other’s aspirations

Once you have discussed each other’s aspirations, it is time to acknowledge how you can turn them into realistic life goals.

How in the next months and years can you actively help one another to achieve these aims? Are some of the goals similar? Which ones are different, and how can you work together to incorporate them into your lives regardless if they are the same or not?

Start to organise and prioritise the list of goals and begin to create an obtainable life plan. Are there any compromises you are willing to make if you need to? How could you help one another achieve your life ambitions? Bullet point your ideas and turn any challenges into solutions. By doing this together, it will uplift one another through the feeling of support and encourage a positive attitude.

Put the plan to action

Once this is complete, it is time to start putting the plan into motion. You need to start actively implementing your plan in the way you have discussed and keep an eye on the progress.

Think about both the short and long term

Discussing the larger goals in life is essential. However, those smaller plans in between shouldn’t be overlooked. As the saying goes, it is the little things that count in life, and much of our happiness is created from these smaller encounters and fond memories.

As well as producing long-term plans, make sure you have smaller plans to look forward to and that you are regularly including one another into your lives.

If you are considering relationship counselling , Remainly offers an online video service which can offer support at the touch of a button. Our experienced psychologist Andreas leads the sessions through a collection of videos which can be accessed anywhere in the world and within your timescale. For more information on our service, why not get in contact with us and discover how Remainly can support you?

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How To Write A Memorable Letter To Your Future Husband + 11 Sample Letters

Hey you! Are you a hopeless romantic daydreaming about your future partner and the epic adventure you'll embark on together?

If the answer is yes, then have you ever considered writing a letter to your future hubby?

It's a sweet and intimate way to express your deepest hopes and desires for your life together.

And if you believe in the law of attraction, writing a letter and envisioning the man of your dreams might just draw him to you more quickly.

We're here to spill the tea on how to pen a heartfelt letter to your future one and only, whether you're currently single or dating someone.

By putting your thoughts and feelings on paper, you can cultivate hope, gratitude, and receptivity and create a precious keepsake to reminisce on when you're old and grey.

How to Write a Letter to Your Future Husband

Letter sample #1, sample letter #2, sample letter #3, sample letter #4, sample letter #5, sample letter #6, sample letter #7, sample letter #8, sample letter #9, sample letter #10, sample letter #11, benefits of writing a love letter to your future husband, final thoughts.

Ready to pen a letter to your future hubby but not sure where to start?

Here are some pro tips to help you create a heartfelt and authentic masterpiece:

Keep it real: Don't be afraid to get personal and share your wildest dreams and fears. This is a love letter , not a job application!
Get specific: Include details about what you want in a partner, from their sense of humor to their love of avocado toast.
Be yourself: Write in your own voice, using slang and emojis if that's your jam. Your future hubby should know the real you!
Show gratitude: Express thanks for the love and support you'll share in the future and appreciate the journey that brought you together.
Get creative: Add some flair to your letter with cute doodles, photos, or even a spritz of your favorite perfume. Make it special and unique to you.

Now that you've got the basics down, it's time to get writing, girlfriend!

woman sitting at desk writing How to Write a Letter to Your Future Husband

Your future hubby is gonna be so happy when he reads this letter that he might just propose on the spot. #worthit

Sample Dear Future Husband Letters

If you need a little jumpstart on your letter writing, we have you covered.

Check out these nine examples of letters you can emulate and put into your own words.

Hey Handsome ,

I hope this letter finds you well, wherever you are in the world. As I write this, I'm thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my life, even though we haven't met yet.

I want you to know that I'm ready for the adventure of a lifetime with you. I'm ready to experience all the ups and downs that life will bring, knowing that we have each other's backs through it all.

I can't wait to hold your hand and look into your eyes, knowing that we're building a life together that is rooted in love and respect. I promise to always be your biggest cheerleader , your confidant, and your partner in crime.

So, wherever you are right now, know that I am sending you all my love and positive energy. I can't wait to meet you and start our life together.

Forever and always,

Your Future Wife

Hey Future Husband,

I'm not gonna lie – I'm a little skeptical about this whole letter thing. I mean, who knows what the future holds, right? But hey, why not give it a shot?

So, here goes. I hope you're someone who's not afraid to challenge me, who has strong opinions, and who isn't afraid to share them. I hope you're someone who can teach me new things, whether that's a new recipe or a new way of looking at the world.

But at the same time, I hope you're someone who's not too serious, who can laugh at yourself and not take life too seriously. Life is too short to be miserable, am I right?

Anyway, I'm excited to see where this whole thing goes. Maybe we'll meet tomorrow,

Love and fingers crossed,

Your Soon-to-Be Wife

Dear Future Husband,

As I write this letter, I am filled with a sense of awe and wonder at the thought of you. I know you are out there somewhere, and we will find each other when the time is right.

I imagine the life we will share together, filled with laughter, love, and adventure. I see us traveling the world, trying new things, and making unforgettable memories together. Maybe we’ll have the adventure of raising kids together.

But beyond the excitement of the future, I want you to know that I cherish the present moment too. Even though we haven't met yet, I feel your presence in my heart, and it brings me such comfort and joy.

So, wherever you are right now, know that you are loved deeply and completely. I can't wait to hold you in my arms and tell you how much you mean to me.

With all my heart,

wedding couple facing each other How to Write a Letter to Your Future Husband

To My Future Groom,

I know we haven't met yet, but I believe that fate will bring us together when the time is right.

When we finally do meet, I hope you're someone who can keep up with my sense of humor, who loves to dance like nobody's watching, and who knows how to appreciate the little things in life.

I know you are someone who's not afraid to take risks and try new things, whether that's skydiving or trying a new type of cuisine. After all, you took a risk on me, and it’s all turned out beautifully!

But most importantly, I hope you're someone who believes in love, even when things get tough. I want us to be partners in every sense of the word, supporting each other through thick and thin, laughing and crying together, and always choosing each other.

I can't wait to see what adventures we'll have together. I'll be waiting for you with open arms.

Love always,

Your Future and Forever Wife

To My Dearest Future Husband,

As I write this letter, my heart is overflowing with love for you, even though we haven't met yet. I can only imagine the incredible person you are, and I feel so blessed to be on this journey toward finding you.

I dream about the day we'll meet, how our eyes will lock, and our souls will recognize each other. I imagine our first kiss – it will feel like coming home after a long journey.

I want you to know that I will love you unconditionally through all the ups and downs that life will bring us. I will support your dreams and encourage your growth, and I promise to always be by your side.

I can't wait to start our life together, my love. Until then, I'll be holding space for you in my heart.

Yours always,

My Beloved Future Husband,

Thinking of you, I feel a sense of peace and contentment wash over me. I know that even though we haven't met yet, we are meant to be together, and that thought brings me such joy.

I know that you are a kind and compassionate soul, someone who sees the beauty in the world and wants to make it a better place. I hope you have a heart that overflows with love and a smile that lights up the room.

When we finally do meet, I promise to be committed to you and to making our marriage happy and fun. I will love you deeply and fiercely and never take your presence in my life for granted.

I know that our journey won't always be easy, but I know that together we can conquer any obstacle that comes our way. I love you already, my darling, and I can't wait to spend forever with you.

When to Give Your Future Husband Letter to Your Guy

When it comes to giving your letter to your future husband, timing and delivery can be just as important as the words you write. There are many ways to share your heartfelt message with your partner, from big events to private gestures.

On a special occasion: Consider giving your letter as a gift for a birthday, anniversary, or another special occasion. This can add an extra layer of meaning to the moment.
In person: If you're already in a relationship, consider reading your letter to your partner in person. This can be a sweet and intimate moment that strengthens your bond.
During a long-distance relationship: If you're in a long-distance relationship or have yet to meet your future husband, consider sending your letter via snail mail or email. This can be a romantic and thoughtful gesture that helps you feel closer when you’re miles apart.
On your wedding day: When you and your future husband get married, consider reading your letter as part of the ceremony, in your vows, or privately at the reception. It can add an emotional and memorable touch to the big day.
As a surprise: If you want to surprise your future husband, consider leaving your letter in a special place for him to find. This could be in his car, on his pillow, or in his lunchbox. It's a sweet and unexpected gesture that he's sure to appreciate.

The most important thing is to choose a method and timing that feels authentic to you and your relationship. Your future husband will appreciate your thoughtfulness and love no matter how or when you give him your letter.

Writing a letter to your future husband is a beautiful and meaningful way to express your hopes, dreams, and desires for your future relationship. Whether you write a letter with a modern, humorous tone or a more romantic one, the act of putting your thoughts and feelings down on paper can be a therapeutic and enlightening experience.

By choosing the right timing and delivery method, you can make your letter a heartfelt and cherished gift for your future partner. So why not take some time to write a letter to your future husband today? Who knows, it might just be the beginning of a beautiful love story.

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How My Partner and I Get on the Same Page With Different Financial Philosophies

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Relationships can be challenging — especially when your spouse or partner has a different money mindset. Whether your finances are fully combined or only partially shared, it can be hard to sustain a healthy relationship if you’re not on the same page financially .

Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean the two of you have to completely agree on spending habits. Instead, you need to join forces to find a system that works best for you.

This can help reduce fights about money, ensure one person doesn’t grow to resent the other’s spending habits and even improve your overall financial health. Financial woes are a common breakup reason, so don’t let your relationship become a statistic over an issue you can likely fix.

If you’re currently struggling to sync your money habits, know that you’re not alone. It’s completely normal for two otherwise compatible people to have different thoughts on how money should be spent.

As long as you’re both committed to the cause, you can find a solution that pleases each of you. If you need inspiration, keep reading to hear the stories of two couples with different financial perspectives who are making it work.

Find Middle Ground

In addition to having different financial philosophies, Victor Zeng, digital marketing director at XMAKE , said discussing money with his partner would be awkward and uncomfortable due to their different incomes.

“Honestly, from my experience, I have learnt that when it comes to discussing money philosophies with a partner, that your best insurance is to always expect them to get defensive,” he said. “Not just because money is an emotional topic for partners, but because it helps you double check the offer you are about to present them with.”

He said taking this approach makes it easier to avoid offending the other person. I have learnt that even when you think you are being nonjudgmental, they might feel the need to be defensive — especially if you both have a history that gives them reasons to.”

However, he said he has found a different way to get and stay on the same page with his partner, despite their varying financial philosophies.

“My partner and I have managed to stay on the same page by negotiating and finding a middle ground that accommodates both our interests,” he said. “In order to ensure that at the end of the day, everyone feels like a winner, we made an agreement to prioritize our pursuit of financial stability above our different opinions and ideas.”

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Zeng said this has led them to seek out the services of a financial counselor.

“And on those other matters where an expert can’t come in, we have agreed to always compromise — more like, if I let you have this, you give me this situation — and frankly, this system has continued to work perfectly for us.”

Put Value Over Price

“When my wife and I first got married, we realized that our financial philosophies were quite different — shaped by our upbringing in middle-class families but in different environments,” said Samuel Shinn, a wealth advisor at BMC Wealth Management .

He said his wife was raised in a more affluent area, and was taught to find the best value, even if that meant spending more upfront.

“On the other hand, I was used to making decisions based on the price tag alone, which often led to short-term savings but ultimately cost more in the long run,” he said.

After combining their finances, he said they got on the same page by openly communicating their money perspectives. “My wife explained her approach to seeking value, which often resulted in better long-term outcomes. I began to see the wisdom in that mindset.”

He now fully subscribes to this way of thinking.

“As I ventured into my career as a financial advisor, this lesson became even clearer,” he said. “I realized that affluent families tend to prioritize value over price, understanding that a poverty mindset is focused on immediate cost, while a wealthy mindset is about making decisions that pay off in the long term.”

He said their journey wasn’t without challenges, but they worked to evolve together.

“We’ve been able to find a balance that works for both of us,” he said. “We still discuss and adapt our approach as needed, but the core principle of prioritizing value has become a cornerstone of our financial philosophy.”

It might take time, but if you’re willing to put in the work to sync your financial mindsets, you’ll likely be pleased with the results.

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How to Write a Future Husband Letter

Here's everything you need to know about this sweet practice.

Jose Luis Pelaez Inc / Getty Images

In This Article

Writing a future husband letter is a fun, cathartic way to get your feelings down on paper about the person you hope to marry. And whether you're already dating or engaged to that person, or you haven't met the one yet, a future husband letter allows you to write out your feelings, your values, your dreams, and your goals for your future marriage . When the time comes, there's nothing sweeter than giving this letter to your husband after your wedding day or on an anniversary —and looking back on it together for years to come.

Here, we talk about tips for writing this special letter, and things to consider while doing so.

Write the Letter for Yourself, First

It may sound odd since you're addressing this letter to your future husband, but the letter should first and foremost be for yourself. Take some time before you write to think about what love means to you, what partnership means to you, and what you hope to achieve in your relationship. Even if you haven't met your partner yet, or if you've just fallen in love with someone who you feel is the one, take the time to tell them in this private setting (your own writing!) about your hopes and dreams—and how this person fits into that vision. The practice of writing is a great way to discover more about yourself, too. Keep that in mind! This could even be an exercise you and your partner do together, with the goal of sharing your letters with each other in the future.

Think About Your Goals

When you're in a marriage, both partners will bring a different set of goals and values to the partnership. Think about this letter as an opportunity to outline what you're hoping to bring to the relationship, and what you're hoping to get out of life with this person. Consider how you feel about things like whether you hope to have children , how you feel about shared finances or buying a home together, and how you hope to overcome challenges and navigate conflict .

If you're currently in a partnership while writing your future husband letter, consider having a conversation about the core values you want to agree on before you tie the knot.

Be Lighthearted, Too

While a future husband letter is a great time to write about the deep things like values, dreams, and goals, it doesn't have to only include the heavier things. Feel free to touch on some light-hearted topics, too, like things that make you laugh , sweet stories from your childhood that you want to share with your partner, or little things that you hope to do for each other that will make you both smile.

Write About Your Wedding Day

Especially if you're planning to give your husband the letter on the night of your wedding, this is a great opportunity to write about what you hope your wedding will look like someday. Whether it's about small elements like the type of flowers , the cake, or the color scheme , or you write about what you envision your dress looking like, what you want your vows to be like, or where the wedding will take place, this is the perfect space to dream about all of those exciting wedding details. Reading it together after your wedding will feel so special—and it will show you how far you've come as an individual and as a couple.

The night my ex-husband and I got divorced, we went out to dinner to celebrate. I will always love him.

After 35 years together, my partner and I decided it would be better if we got divorced.
After our official divorce, we went to dinner together to celebrate.
My ex-husband and I are better as friends, and I will always love him.

One night, about a year after our divorce, I phoned my ex-husband to tell him about my bad day.

He asked if I had any sangria, my favorite drink; I did not. Within an hour, a delivery person showed up at my door with sangria — ordered by my ex. I called him, thanked him, and posted it on Facebook. One of my friends replied, "I love your divorce!"

My ex and I had been together for 35 years (married 25) when we divorced. We'd tried everything we could think of to stay together, and it took years to get to the point where we both gave up. But after we did, things improved immediately. In fact, they got so much better during the divorce process that we both wondered whether maybe we were making a mistake.

We truly like each other as people — even though we changed so much. But when the pressure of the marriage was no longer there, we were able to see each other again as simply family. We weren't the same people we married — nobody is the same person after almost 40 years — but we were still, at our core, people who enjoyed being around each other. We still love parts of each other.

We celebrated our divorce with an intimate dinner

On the night before our divorce was final, we celebrated the imminent end of being tied together by paperwork.

My ex-husband has remained one of the most important people in my life

I know many divorced people who aren't friends with their ex-spouses. I'm truly sad for them because having this man who had been my rock for many years still be available as part of my support system has contributed to the strength I've needed to recover from the collateral damage of a divorce.

There was some emotional fallout, and we were able to bounce things off each other. We were able to commiserate about difficulties in dating and communicate the best ways to help our young adult children.

There was financial fallout , and we were better able to successfully navigate the dips in both our incomes and figure out strange tax situations without yelling.

There were difficulties that resulted from the team — our family — being split up. Thankfully, we had each other to navigate this new terrain together.

That dinner marked an end to the people we once were

On the night of our celebration, we had yet to know all that, but we were already aware that things looked brighter for both of us.

It didn't take long for us to move to a different role in each other's lives and look fondly back to when we were married without dwelling on what eventually caused the divorce. Yes, it might be romanticizing or applying a nostalgic lens, but why is that bad?

We can't be married anymore for several reasons, but that doesn't mean I regret marrying him. That marriage was right for both of us — for a very long time.

We met when I was 19 and he was 20. As another of my friends said, we grew up together. Large parts of our personalities were shaped by each other. We don't hate those people. We simply no longer want the same things out of life and can better manage what we do want without the other as a partner.

On the night of our divorce, we said goodbye to the bad parts, but the bad parts didn't negate the good parts. We decided to find new ways of walking in this world, but we still want to make new memories as a family.

And we raised a glass — well, a few glasses — to happiness and love.

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7 Questions to Ask When Weighing a Job Offer

Rebecca Knight

How to decide whether this job is actually the right fit — and make the most of this rare moment of leverage.

You got the job offer! Now you have to decide whether or not to take it. It’s impossible to predict exactly how a job will turn out, but asking the right questions of yourself and others can give you a clearer picture of what to expect. In this article, the author shares advice from two experts and offers seven questions to ask to help you make an informed decision and to help prevent future regrets: 1) What am I overlooking? 2) What’s the company culture really like? 3) What’s my prospective boss really like — and will we click both personally and professionally? 4) What’s my potential for growth at the organization? 5) What relationships am I going to build? 6) Beyond salary, what else can I negotiate that would benefit me in this role? 7) What’s my exit strategy?

You’ve been waiting for it, hoping for it, dreaming about it, and at last, it’s here: the job is yours. Congrats!

RK Rebecca Knight is a journalist who writes about all things related to the changing nature of careers and the workplace. Her essays and reported stories have been featured in The Boston Globe, Business Insider, The New York Times, BBC, and The Christian Science Monitor. She was shortlisted as a Reuters Institute Fellow at Oxford University in 2023. Earlier in her career, she spent a decade as an editor and reporter at the Financial Times in New York, London, and Boston.

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An open letter to my future husband, i just ask for someone to love and love in return..

Dear future husband,

I would like to start by saying that I am not an easy woman to love. I don’t handle stress well, I’m extremely hard on myself, I’m sensitive, and I have a tendency to hold things back. I am learning to love myself a little more every day, but the love I have for you is enough to fill your heart until it overflows. I have a lot of love to give.

I know you have been hurt in the past, but those are not my plans. My plans are to love you more than you have ever been loved. My love knows so boundaries, there will be no limits as to what I will do for you, I will only grow to love you more each passing second as long as you always give me room to grow. My love knows no fear. There will never be a doubt in either of our minds on whether or not we are real, or whether or not I am yours alone. I promise to be truthful and faithful, as long as you return the same to me. I want to wake up wrapped in your warm embrace every morning, and fall into your sweet kisses every night. You are more than a "significant other" to me, you're my best friend. We absolutely must be silly together forever. Without humor, what do we really have? I love telling jokes, laughing until it hurts, or laughing until we cry. You always know how to put a smile back on my face even when I feel like my world is crashing down. Thank you. Thank you for making me smile, thank you for taking care of me, and thank you for teaching me how to stand on my own two feet.

Dear future husband, I'm kind of hard to sleep with. I'm a bed hog, sometimes I snore really loud, I like to death grip/cuddle whatever is closest to me and I still sleep with the stuffed bunny I got on my very first Easter. But our sheets will always be clean and the bedroom always cozy. I love when you pull me closer if I move too far away in my sleep, and I love that you accept my death cuddle anyway. I'm also kind of a mess in the morning. My hair knots up on top of my head, and sometimes I'm really really cranky, but if you can still look at me when I'm like that with the same loving eyes that you look at me with when I'm in my finest dress and heels, then I will never be afraid around you.

I am not a material girl, I don't want fancy things. So, please never worry about buying me any clothes or makeup. If you would honestly like to buy me anything, I like books, pens, and notebooks. But honestly, I'd rather a flower or a cool rock you found. If you can take my hands and dance with me even when there is no music, I will eternally be yours. I have two left feet, but I love dancing and spinning all around the room because dancing with you is where I feel most beautiful. I don't need the "hottest MAC lipstick." I need to sit up late with you watching The Neverending Story, both smiling and crying, reliving my childhood with you next to me.

All in all, future husband, I just ask for someone to love and love in return. I want to share this crazy life with you, and I want to experience the real magic with you by my side. Between the two of us, the adventure will never die. If you keep me smiling, I'll keep you wild.

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25 beatles lyrics: your go-to guide for every situation, the best lines from the fab four.

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The End- Abbey Road, 1969

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Dear Prudence- The White Album, 1968

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

Because- Abbey Road, 1969

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

All You Need Is Love, 1967

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

We Can Work It Out- Rubber Soul, 1965

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Come Together- Abbey Road, 1969

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

I Wanna Hold Your Hand- Meet The Beatles!, 1964

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band-1967

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Strawberry Fields Forever- Magical Mystery Tour, 1967

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Rain- Paperback Writer "B" side, 1966

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

Here Comes The Sun- Abbey Road, 1969

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

Saw Her Standing There- Please Please Me, 1963

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

Michelle- Rubber Soul, 1965

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

Revolution- The Beatles, 1968

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Eleanor Rigby- Revolver, 1966

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

With A Little Help From My Friends- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, 1967

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Hey Jude, 1968

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

Yesterday- Help!, 1965

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

Let It Be- Let It Be, 1970

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all i got to give if you say you'll love me too. i may not have a lot to give but what i got i'll give to you. i don't care too much for money. money can't buy me love.

Can't Buy Me Love- A Hard Day's Night, 1964

All you need is love, love is all you need

All You Need Is Love- Magical Mystery Tour, 1967

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird- The White Album, 1968

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

In My Life- Rubber Soul, 1965

While these are my 25 favorites, there are quite literally 1000s that could have been included. The Beatles' body of work is massive and there is something for everyone. If you have been living under a rock and haven't discovered the Fab Four, you have to get musically educated. Stream them on Spotify, find them on iTunes or even buy a CD or record (Yes, those still exist!). I would suggest starting with 1, which is a collection of most of their #1 songs, or the 1968 White Album. Give them chance and you'll never look back.

14 Invisible Activities: Unleash Your Inner Ghost!

Obviously the best superpower..

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

1. "Haunt" your friends.

Follow them into their house and cause a ruckus.

2. Sneak into movie theaters.

Going to the cinema alone is good for your mental health , says science

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Free movies...what else to I have to say?

3. Sneak into the pantry and grab a snack without judgment.

Late night snacks all you want? Duh.

4. Reenact "Hollow Man" and play Kevin Bacon.

America's favorite son? And feel what it's like to be in a MTV Movie Award nominated film? Sign me up.

5. Wear a mask and pretend to be a floating head.

Just another way to spook your friends in case you wanted to.

6. Hold objects so they'll "float."

"Oh no! A floating jar of peanut butter."

7. Win every game of hide-and-seek.

Just stand out in the open and you'll win.

8. Eat some food as people will watch it disappear.

Even everyday activities can be funny.

9. Go around pantsing your friends.

Even pranks can be done; not everything can be good.

10. Not have perfect attendance.

You'll say here, but they won't see you...

11. Avoid anyone you don't want to see.

Whether it's an ex or someone you hate, just use your invisibility to slip out of the situation.

12. Avoid responsibilities.

Chores? Invisible. People asking about social life? Invisible. Family being rude? Boom, invisible.

13. Be an expert on ding-dong-ditch.

Never get caught and have the adrenaline rush? I'm down.

14. Brag about being invisible.

Be the envy of the town.

But don't, I repeat, don't go in a locker room. Don't be a pervert with your power. No one likes a Peeping Tom.

Good luck, folks.

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned..

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

1. The importance of traditions.

Sometimes traditions seem like a silly thing, but the fact of it is that it's part of who you are. You grew up this way and, more than likely, so did your parents. It is something that is part of your family history and that is more important than anything.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

No matter how many times they get on your nerves or make you mad, they are the ones who will always be there and you should never take that for granted.

3. How to give back.

When tragedy strikes in a small town, everyone feels obligated to help out because, whether directly or indirectly, it affects you too. It is easy in a bigger city to be able to disconnect from certain problems. But in a small town those problems affect everyone.

4. What the word "community" really means.

Along the same lines as #3, everyone is always ready and willing to lend a helping hand when you need one in a small town and to me that is the true meaning of community. It's working together to build a better atmosphere, being there to raise each other up, build each other up, and pick each other up when someone is in need. A small town community is full of endless support whether it be after a tragedy or at a hometown sports game. Everyone shows up to show their support.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

People say this to others all the time, but it takes on a whole new meaning in a small town. It is true that life is about the journey, but when you're from a small town, you know it's about the journey because the journey probably takes longer than you spend at the destination. Everything is so far away that it is totally normal to spend a couple hours in the car on your way to some form of entertainment. And most of the time, you're gonna have as many, if not more, memories and laughs on the journey than at the destination.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

Word travels fast in a small town, so don't think you're gonna get away with anything. In fact, your parents probably know what you did before you even have a chance to get home and tell them. And forget about being scared of what your teacher, principle, or other authority figure is going to do, you're more afraid of what your parents are gonna do when you get home.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

Everyone deserves a chance. Most people don't have ill-intentions and you can't live your life guarding against every one else just because a few people in your life have betrayed your trust.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

While small towns are not always extremely diverse, they do contain people with a lot of different stories, struggle, and backgrounds. In a small town, it is pretty hard to exclude anyone because of who they are or what they come from because there aren't many people to choose from. A small town teaches you that just because someone isn't the same as you, doesn't mean you can't be great friends.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

In a small town, you learn that it's okay to be who you are and do your own thing. You learn that confidence isn't how beautiful you are or how much money you have, it's who you are on the inside.

10. How to work for what I want.

Nothing comes easy in life. They always say "gardens don't grow overnight" and if you're from a small town you know this both figuratively and literally. You certainly know gardens don't grow overnight because you've worked in a garden or two. But you also know that to get to the place you want to be in life it takes work and effort. It doesn't just happen because you want it to.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

If you're from a small town, you know that you will probably only meet a handful of people in your life who ACTUALLY know where your town is. And forget about the people who accidentally enter into your town because of google maps. You've gotten really good at giving them directions right back to the interstate.

12. How to be humble .

My small town has definitely taught me how to be humble. It isn't always about you, and anyone who grows up in a small town knows that. Everyone gets their moment in the spotlight, and since there's so few of us, we're probably best friends with everyone so we are as excited when they get their moment of fame as we are when we get ours.

13. To be well-rounded.

Going to a small town high school definitely made me well-rounded. There isn't enough kids in the school to fill up all the clubs and sports teams individually so be ready to be a part of them all.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

In a small town, good luck holding a grudge. In a bigger city you can just avoid a person you don't like or who you've had problems with. But not in a small town. You better resolve the issue fast because you're bound to see them at least 5 times a week.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

One of my favorite things about growing up in a rural area was being able to go outside and go exploring and not have to worry about being in danger. There is nothing more exciting then finding a new place somewhere in town or in the woods and just spending time there enjoying the natural beauty around you.

16. To be prepared for anything.

You never know what may happen. If you get a flat tire, you better know how to change it yourself because you never know if you will be able to get ahold of someone else to come fix it. Mechanics might be too busy , or more than likely you won't even have enough cell service to call one.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

It's okay to ask for help. One thing I realized when I moved away from my town for college, was how much my town has taught me that I could ask for help is I needed it. I got into a couple situations outside of my town where I couldn't find anyone to help me and found myself thinking, if I was in my town there would be tons of people ready to help me. And even though I couldn't find anyone to help, you better believe I wasn't afraid to ask.

18. How to be creative.

When you're at least an hour away from normal forms of entertainment such as movie theaters and malls, you learn to get real creative in entertaining yourself. Whether it be a night looking at the stars in the bed of a pickup truck or having a movie marathon in a blanket fort at home, you know how to make your own good time.

19. To brush off gossip.

It's all about knowing the person you are and not letting others influence your opinion of yourself. In small towns, there is plenty of gossip. But as long as you know who you really are, it will always blow over.

Grateful Beyond Words: A Letter to My Inspiration

I have never been so thankful to know you..

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

You have taught me that you don't always have to strong. You are allowed to break down as long as you pick yourself back up and keep moving forward. When life had you at your worst moments, you allowed your friends to be there for you and to help you. You let them in and they helped pick you up. Even in your darkest hour you showed so much strength. I know that you don't believe in yourself as much as you should but you are unbelievably strong and capable of anything you set your mind to.

Your passion to make a difference in the world is unbelievable. You put your heart and soul into your endeavors and surpass any personal goal you could have set. Watching you do what you love and watching you make a difference in the lives of others is an incredible experience. The way your face lights up when you finally realize what you have accomplished is breathtaking and I hope that one day I can have just as much passion you have.

SEE MORE: A Letter To My Best Friend On Her Birthday

The love you have for your family is outstanding. Watching you interact with loved ones just makes me smile . You are so comfortable and you are yourself. I see the way you smile when you are around family and I wish I could see you smile like this everyday. You love with all your heart and this quality is something I wished I possessed.

You inspire me to be the best version of myself. I look up to you. I feel that more people should strive to have the strength and passion that you exemplify in everyday life.You may be stubborn at points but when you really need help you let others in, which shows strength in itself. I have never been more proud to know someone and to call someone my role model. You have taught me so many things and I want to thank you. Thank you for inspiring me in life. Thank you for making me want to be a better person.

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life..

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Don't freak out

This is a rule you should continue to follow no matter what you do in life, but is especially helpful in this situation.

Email the professor

Around this time, professors are getting flooded with requests from students wanting to get into full classes. This doesn't mean you shouldn't burden them with your email; it means they are expecting interested students to email them. Send a short, concise message telling them that you are interested in the class and ask if there would be any chance for you to get in.

Attend the first class

Often, the advice professors will give you when they reply to your email is to attend the first class. The first class isn't the most important class in terms of what will be taught. However, attending the first class means you are serious about taking the course and aren't going to give up on it.

Keep attending class

Every student is in the same position as you are. They registered for more classes than they want to take and are "shopping." For the first couple of weeks, you can drop or add classes as you please, which means that classes that were once full will have spaces. If you keep attending class and keep up with assignments, odds are that you will have priority. Professors give preference to people who need the class for a major and then from higher to lower class year (senior to freshman).

Have a backup plan

For two weeks, or until I find out whether I get into my waitlisted class, I will be attending more than the usual number of classes. This is so that if I don't get into my waitlisted class, I won't have a credit shortage and I won't have to fall back in my backup class. Chances are that enough people will drop the class, especially if it is very difficult like computer science, and you will have a chance. In popular classes like art and psychology, odds are you probably won't get in, so prepare for that.

Remember that everything works out at the end

Life is full of surprises. So what if you didn't get into the class you wanted? Your life obviously has something else in store for you. It's your job to make sure you make the best out of what you have.

Top Creators

1. Brittany Morgan, National Writer's Society 2. Radhi, SUNY Stony Brook 3. Kristen Haddox , Penn State University 4. Jennifer Kustanovich , SUNY Stony Brook 5. Clare Regelbrugge , University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign

Photo Essay: Training Cancer’s Future Leaders

Tuesday, September 3, 2024

The students and postdoctoral researchers who work and train in MSK’s laboratories drive discovery forward every day. Today they are vital partners. Tomorrow they will lead further progress at hospitals, research centers, and biomedical companies around the world.

Graduate student Monica Acosta enters the Zuckerman Research Center to start her day in the lab.

Mihir Pendse, PhD, left, in the lab with immunologist Gretchen Diehl, PhD. The Diehl Lab studies how gut microbes train the immune system.

Graduate student Justin Hachey, left, prepares to work with frozen samples, alongside research fellow Michele De Franco, PhD. The work is part of the Jason Lewis Lab’s efforts to develop new approaches for the targeted diagnosis and treatment of cancer.

Developmental biologist Eric Lai, PhD, discusses a research project with graduate student Mir-Mammad Javad-Zada. The Lai Lab studies how cells orchestrate behaviors so they happen at the right times and in the right places.

Dasom Kim, Mihir Pendse, Sofia Tortora Morel, Lisette Peres-Tintin

Lounge spaces allow trainees to foster collaboration and camaraderie outside the lab, too. From left: graduate student Dasom Kim; research scholar, Mihir Pendse, PhD; research scholar, Sofia Tortora Morel, PhD; and research technician, Lisette Peres-Tintin.

Research scholar Yanan Ma, PhD, prepares to review a sample under the microscope. The work is part of the Philipp Niethammer Lab’s study of wound healing, inflammation, and regeneration

Change lives with us.

Promise Letter to My Future Husband (7 Examples & Templates)

by Marisa Jenkins
March 23, 2023

When we are feeling so many feelings, it can be overwhelming to keep them to ourselves. We feel tempted to share them with a close friend, a relative, or someone else. Writing a letter is one of the most effective ways of getting our feelings out.

Some people want to write a “promise letter to my future husband” to express their excitement about meeting their life partner and the vows they will keep. If you want to create one, below are six examples and a template you can use as guides or inspiration.

Examples of Promise Letter to My Future Husband

1. Dear Future Husband,

There are days when I can’t stop thinking about you. I envision walking down the aisle in a stunning white dress, surrounded by my friends and family, and with Debussy’s Clair de Lune playing in the background.

However, there are days when I completely forget about you. I focus entirely on my job, accomplishing my tasks and working toward my goals. I imagine myself applying to different Ivy League universities, hoping to get my master’s degree in a few years.

I’m happy I haven’t met you yet. I still have dreams I want to reach, skills I want to work on, and lessons I need to learn. When I meet you, I want to be complete. I want to be the best version of myself, ready to stand beside and behind you.

From this moment, I promise you, my future husband, that I will focus on improving myself. I know that marriage is a lifelong commitment and will have many ups and downs. I want to be fully prepared to weather through some of the most challenging moments with you.

I also promise to focus on my healing. Life isn’t easy. I know you know that, and I know you also have your own battles. We will be partners and be there for each other, but we need to realize that some battles are not ours alone to fight.

Above all, I promise to love you and your entirety. I will not love you despite your flaws and shortcomings; I will love you, point blank.

In the meantime, I hope you’re living your best life. I may not know you yet, but I’m always rooting for you. I am already your biggest fan.

With all the love I can give,

2. To My Future Husband,

How are you doing today? What did you have for dinner last night? What do you do for fun? What are you passionate about? What’s your favorite game to play? Have you watched Everything Everywhere All At Once?

There are so many things I want to know about you. I can’t stop smiling while I write this, imagining how you’d answer — “I love reading,” or “I had lasagna last night,” or “I’ve watched it and can’t stop thinking about it.”

My first promise to you is that I won’t mind what you answer. I don’t care if you haven’t seen the movies I have, haven’t played the games I have — that just gives us more things to do together.

I promise to love you for all that you are and all that you aren’t. I don’t want you to think that I want you to be a specific type of person. I will love you in all the ways I am able to and all the ways I still have to learn.

I promise to share all of me with you, and I promise to honor everything you want to share with me. I will assure you every opportunity I get: I promise to love you for all that you are and all that you aren’t.

I can’t promise I will be perfect. I have mood swings; I crave random foods and get hangry; I’m stubborn to a fault sometimes; I have moments where I can’t stop talking even though my brain is fully telling me to shut up.

But what I can promise is that I will be kind, forgiving, understanding, and loving about what you think are your imperfections.

I read somewhere that “To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.” My future husband, I promise that my love will be as constant, radiant, and sure as the sun above — through the sunny, rainy, and stormy days.

You are in my heart,

3. To My Future Husband,

This letter is the first time I’m calling you my husband. You just proposed to me a few days ago, and the word “fiancée” still feels new to my tongue. Calling you husband is both the most surreal yet most natural thing I’ve done today — maybe ever.

Yesterday, we began planning our wedding . We couldn’t decide if we wanted a large wedding, a small wedding , a quick wedding at a courthouse, or what have you. We were talking venues, timelines, itineraries, budgets (have I told you how good you look presenting a spreadsheet?), and whatnot.

One of the infinite things I love about you is how passionate and open you are. Discussing all these details made me remember how fun it is to work with you, to throw ideas and flesh them out together. You are brilliant and logical, and you know when to compromise or stand your ground.

I’ve been talking to my mother every night since your proposal. She’s been telling me all about married life, giving practical advice and tips. My biggest takeaway so far is that there are so many factors outside of our control, but we can control how we act and react to those factors.

That’s why I’m writing this promise letter to my future husband.

Eric, I promise to always work on my communication skills. We’ve come a long way, but we still have a lot to improve. I know I still tend to shut away when I’m hurt or angry, but I’m trying to change that.

I promise to continue respecting your individuality. As much as marriage is teamwork, we still need to have separate lives for our relationship to stay healthy. I will be your biggest fan and gentlest constructive critique through all your endeavors.

This weirdly excites me, but I promise to work with you to ensure that our responsibilities stay balanced. Yes, that includes creating spreadsheets, trackers, and to-do lists — again, have I mentioned how attractive it is that you are so organized?

I promise to always give everything I am capable of. There will be days where that’s my 100%, but sometimes, that will only be 50% or 25%. I know you will be forgiving of me, and I promise you I will be the same.

I promise to love myself as much as I love you. You’re always reminding me to take more care of myself, to not bite off more than I can chew.

All in all, I promise to fall in love with you every day like it’s the first time, and I promise to show you my love every day like it’s the last time.

I’d also promise not to pull out all of your and my hair while we plan our wedding… but you know I don’t work well under pressure. I promise to at least fix your hair after I pull on it.

4. To My Future Husband,

People like to say that loving is easy. Based on experience, I know that isn’t true. Loving is scary, it can hurt, and if you fall in love with the wrong person, it can be draining.

I’ve fallen in love with the wrong people before. I’ve had my trust broken, my emotions played, and my love taken for granted. It hurts, and it’s a pain I wouldn’t wish even on my enemy.

I’d like to think that this experience is shaping me to be a better person. I know how to protect myself better, recognize red flags, and determine who is trustworthy.

When you meet me, I know it’ll seem like I’m so emotionally distant. I might try to push you away or make myself disappear. It might seem like I’m uninterested, but I’m just trying to protect myself.

It won’t be a test. But I hope you see past my walls, past my façade. I promise to open up and let you in.

I’m a person of my word. I make promises, and I keep them. So, I’m writing this promise letter to my future husband mostly to keep myself accountable but also to give myself hope.

Dear future husband, I promise you I will stay. I’m in it for the long haul, for the good times, bad times, and all the times in between. I want the sunny days, the cloudy days, and the stormy days — I want them all with you.

Dear future husband, I promise you my love will be unconditional and limitless. There might be days where you think you don’t deserve it, days where you feel unlovable, but I know there will always be something to love.

Dear future husband, I promise to be forgiving, compassionate, and patient. We all deserve these three things, but I know how easy it is to be hard on yourself. I will remind you every day that you are worth it.

Dear future husband, I promise to always push myself to be the best version of myself. Even more, I promise to always strive for improvement. I can be better for myself, for you, and our family if we decide to have one.

Dear future husband, I promise to just try. We don’t know what challenges we’ll face. We don’t know what married life will bring us. But I assure you I will do my best to stick it out through it all. I will never give up on you, myself, and our relationship.

I don’t know when I’ll meet you or if I already have and I just don’t know it. I can’t promise you I’ll welcome you with open arms, but what I can promise you is that my love will make up for it.

5. My Love,

Actually, I don’t know if “love” is your preferred pet name. We’ll have to discuss that when we finally meet.

Growing up, I watched a lot of Disney movies. I internalized a lot of ideas about a fairytale-like kind of love. As a teen, I’d daydream about finding my prince charming, getting married in a castle, and throwing a big party.

Now that I’m an adult, I’ve become disenchanted. That’s not to say I don’t believe in love anymore, but I’ve come to accept that those ideas are unrealistic. For one, getting married in a castle is expensive — I don’t want to go broke right before entering marriage, you know?

However, I still believe that there is someone out there for me: a prince charming, who will sweep me off my feet (or get tired from trying), who will dance with me even if the whole world is watching, and who will love me for who I truly am.

To that prince charming, I promise that I will love him back with all the love I can give. This love will know no limits, see no flaws, and have no conditions. I have so much love to give, and I cannot wait to shower you with it.

I promise that we will be equals. I will support you as much as you will support me; I will protect you as much as you will protect me; I will lift you up as much as you will lift me up.

While I can’t promise that every day will be a smooth ride, I promise you that we will face it head-on together. We might get nauseous, but that’s okay. I’ll make sure to pack a lot of antihistamines.

I promise to be the woman you deserve. I won’t always be the best version of myself, but I promise you I will try.

I promise to remind you that you deserve nothing but the best.

I can’t wait to meet you. In the case that I already have, I can’t wait for the magical moment when we both realize we’re the one for each other. (We don’t have to break into a song-and-dance number with birds chirping in the background, but it would be nice if we did, no?)

Until then, take care.

With all my love,

6. Dear Future Husband,

Right off the bat, I will admit that I’m a big sucker for romance. I love reading romance books, romcoms, and everything that has love in its plot line. I love seeing my friends so happy with their significant others, and it gives me so much joy to think that someday, that will be me with you.

Even though I consume a lot of love-related media, I have struggled to describe the love I want for myself. However, Alison Cochrun expressed it perfectly in her book, The Charm Offensive : love is a bottomless well inside of you that you could spend your entire life filling.

But I don’t want you to think that I expect a lot from you. That’s not the case. I don’t expect you to have no flaws, always say or do the right thing, and just be perfect in general.

I promise you that I will take you as you are. My love for you will see no bounds, ask no questions, and expect no returns. I will love you the way you deserve: unconditionally, kindly, and patiently.

I promise to be your number one fan. I will support you, help you improve, and stand on the sidelines once it is your moment. I will clap the loudest and cheer the most enthusiastically.

I promise to be with you against all odds. I will be there with you through thick and thin. You can doubt anything else, but you can be sure that I’ll always be there .

I promise you my heart — my heart that tries its best to have compassion, be kind, and persevere. My heart that is a bottomless well.

Yours in love,

Promise Letter to My Future Husband Template

7. Dear Future Husband,

[ Share a personal anecdote. Tell a story about your past. You can let your future husband know what you think about love, how you feel, etc. ]

I promise [ write your promise here .]

[ Repeat the line above until you have written all your promises .]

[ This part is optional, but you can dedicate an additional paragraph to sharing your excitement to meet your future husband. You can also wish them well or say some parting words. ]

[ Your name ]

Marisa Jenkins

Marisa Jenkins is a wedding planner and event coordinator. Her main goal for WeddingFrontier.com is to simplify the wedding planning process by sharing her years of expertise in the industry.

How to Write a Letter to My Future Husband (5 Cool Ways)

Table of Contents

If you want to know how to write a letter to my future husband, check out one of these nifty ways! They will surely put you on the right track when it comes to sending out that love letter to someone you will love forever!! True, you might not “send” it, but it sure is fun to write!

Using one of the ways listed in this article, you can write a letter to your future man and have an enjoyable time activity to do in the meantime. Even if you have not yet met Mr. Right, you can participate in one of these ways.

The reason we have included many ways to write this letter is that we are all different. After all, what works for one person doesn’t always do the same for another, but you will never know until you give it a try!!

Related : Why Write a Letter to My Future Husband?

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#1. Write in a journal or diary.

Oh, how I love filling up planners and journals! I find it so much fun to do this, but I am a Bible nerd who used to be an organized geeky accountant. It is true that I never carried a pocket protector around, but I carried the title in my job description just the same!

If you love journaling like me, you should consider purchasing a refillable journal . A refillable journal is one that you can add (and subtract) paper to (and from)! They make them quite affordable and super pretty now – for those who are feminine and for men , too!

As you write a letter to your future husband, you might find it helpful to add stickers , washi tape , poetry, or pieces of scrapbook paper if you have access to such. It can be quite enjoyable to think about your future man and be crafty at the same time!

Get creative in your letters to your future husband, and really have fun!

#2. Type up an old-fashioned letter.

If you wish, you can save your hands from possible future arthritis or Carpal Tunnel Syndrome by typing up your letter rather than handwriting it. When you write by hand, it also takes longer, and you can, therefore, not write nearly as much in as little time!

Be sure to place the date at the top of your letters so that you will always remember when you wrote this letter to your future husband. One day, he might look back and remember where he was at that exact moment and how the two of you were surely meant to be!

#3. Handwrite a letter to your future husband.

I love writing letters by hand . In my opinion, it is much more meaningful to do it this way, but it can take a toll on your hands if you write a little oddly as I do or if you plan to write many, MANY letters to your future husband!

You can always add a little glitter or stickers for a special personalized touch! Granted, you are not likely to send the letter anywhere, but it still makes it extra special to add those little touches! Spray your favorite perfume for a scent you will never forget!

I used to fill up journals, as I mentioned, with letters to my future husband. My husband, Bryan, now still has not had a chance to read them all, but it is nice to know that the old me was able to find a therapeutic outlet in letter writing to my future husband!

Related : How to Write a Letter to a Lonely Soldier

#4. Create an audio version by saying the words out loud!

If you’d really like to be efficient, consider recording your thoughts and feelings in an audio diary of some kind. There are many portable electronic devices you can use for this, or you can just record an audio version of your letter to your future husband on your phone.

Keep in mind that any means you use to record letters to your future husband will take up space – whether that is on your phone or in a journal. If you plan to write many letters, you might consider typing them up and having them stored on an external hard drive!

#5. Pray the letter to my future husband.

A final way I would write a letter to my future husband would be through the use of prayer. If you do not know how to pray , we have many resources for you! We have FREE prayer journals you can use if you’d like to write out your prayers (as I do), or grab a jumbo notebook and write!

If you are just learning how to pray, you might be intimidated by the thought of praying a letter to someone. We have a bunch of FREE prayer cards in the Shop for you to use to make this extra easy! Consider creating your own prayer cards on blank index cards to use in prayer!

Another tip when praying is just to speak from the heart. You do not need a formal degree to talk to God. Jesus gives us the basic outline for prayer in the Lord’s Prayer , but even more encouraging is His example of just taking some alone time to pray! Make time for God!

Related : How to Pray for a Future Husband

Tips for Writing a Letter to Your Future Husband

Use the following tips when you write a letter to your future husband ! They will enhance the experience of writing to your soulmate – the man you wish you spend your life with! Why not give this therapeutic weapon a try??

Pray about it!

If you do not know how to pray, no problem! Just speak to God from the heart. Although He knows what’s going on with you, He would like to hear it from you Himself – like a father wishes to hear from his child! You ARE God’s child, so just speak to Him – at any time!

On the other hand, maybe you are a prayer warrior who needs no practice praying! In that case, be sure to talk to God about how you are feeling in regard to writing a letter to your future mister! Pour your heart out and express your emotions about the process!

Another method for praying to God is praying the scriptures directly to our Lord. Speaking His words back to Him is a powerful thing to do. If you do not know how to do this, have no fear because the Holy Spirit will guide you to the right passages. Just open up that Bible !

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. – Romans 8:26 (NIV)

Be honest, and pour your heart out!

As mentioned, it is always best to pour out your heart, especially in prayer. God wants you to be genuine and not just say rote prayers because it’s that time of day. Instead, keep a continual conversation going with our Lord ( 1 Thessalonians 5:17 advises to NEVER stop praying!).

As part of my prayer journal, I keep one tab for an honest conversation with God – a place to tell Him exactly what’s going on in my heart. This allows me to be accountable for anything that is blocking my relationship with God . Having an open prayer journal is a totally freeing process!

You can totally put this all into practice when writing a letter to your future husband. Think about what is speaking most dearly to your heart, and write it out on paper! This will give you newfound freedom when writing and expressing yourself in other creative ways!

Don’t worry TOO much about the future.

The future will be there whether you write a letter to your future husband or not. When I was single, I remember thinking that life would all fit together like a perfect puzzle if I could just meet the man of my dreams. I prayed over and over again for a future husband!

In today’s society, we are never fully satisfied, unfortunately. Although God DID finally answer my prayer request for a husband, that did not stop my need for prayer. Now, I just want different things. My priorities have shifted, but God knew it would all turn out this way!

Remember, the Lord knows all – including what you will need in the future. He has grand plans for everyone (Jeremiah 29:11) but will still listen when you pray (1 John 5:14-15).

We just have an awesome God who will do that for us!! So, don’t get too hung up on the future; it’ll be here soon enough!

Aim to meet your future husband at the right places.

If you enjoy staying indoors all of the time and are not meeting Mr. Right, it could be that you need to get out there a bit more! However, you should choose your outings wisely. Ask God for wisdom in this faucet of your life; He freely gives wisdom to those who ask (James 1:5)!

Where can you go to meet your future husband? Consider the type of man you are looking for, and that will tell you where he is likely to be. If you are on a Christian dating website or attend a church regularly and participate in many activities, you’re likely to meet a Christian!

As a note of caution, be careful of online dating because people are not always the way they portray themselves to be! Attending church activities or even just going to church regularly will likely yield the best results, but don’t attend church ONLY to meet the right guys!

Another great option is going to Celebrate Recovery – a place where everyone is welcome!!

Should you send it?

Maybe you have already met the man of your dreams. Perhaps he is your fiance already or boyfriend. Remember, you wrote letters to your future husband at a different time in your life. Are you truly ready to share all of that with your boyfriend or fiance?

If you do feel ready to share your future husband’s letter with a man, be sure to explain that you were in a different state of mind at that time in your life and that he is free to decline the offer to read these letters. After all, the last thing you want to do is to push away a great guy!

In reality, these letters to a future husband should be a personal and private thing – depending on what you write, of course. They do not need to be shared. Most guys just do not have the time in the day to read your diaries or letters of a previous time in your life!

Don’t feel bad about this, because there are many benefits in writing these letters even if they are never sent! It is such a great release to tell your problems to someone even if they never get a chance to read them; they’ll know you cared in spirit, right? Plus, the thought counts!

A Letter to My Future Husband – What to Say

So, maybe you wonder what to say in a letter to a future husband. Perhaps you are considering writing a bunch of letters but don’t know where to start or what to write. Always remember to speak from the heart; that is the best way to heal from any hurt you are experiencing!

Being honest and speaking from the heart are the only ways to reap the rewards of writing to your future husband!

Tell him how you really feel!

There really is no point in doing this exercise if you are not honest with yourself and your future husband. Pour your heart out, and give him the details of what is going on with you! Explain how your heart is aching to meet him – or marry him – whatever your situation may be!

Include a prayer for your future husband!

If you enjoy praying, you should consider writing out prayers for your future husband . Think of everything you wish for him right now. Do you want him to be prosperous at work? Would you like him to build on his relationship with the Lord ? Are you hoping to meet him soon?

Maybe you would like children one day. Think of the type of father you want for your future kids. Imagine your husband wherever he is right now. Now, picture him gaining the traits he would need to be a wonderful father to your children. You can absolutely pray on all those things!

Prayer is a personal conversation between you and God, but it is for everyone. It could be so beautiful one day to present a box of letters to your future husband that includes all of the prayers you prayed for him over the months or years.

He could possibly even provide the answers God gave him during those periods of time in his life! Maybe he was having difficulty with a job transition, and you were praying for his wisdom in making career decisions! Wouldn’t it be great to see how God impacted that time in his life?

Keep your letters private.

So, most of the advice in this article is centered around being yourself. I totally support this, BUT, and I say this “but” with reservation, if you have children or other people in your life who are likely to read what you write, you might want to put a lock on that diary, girl!

I mean, if you are talking about your sex life or what you think you want in a future mate, you might not want the world to know what you have to say! Some things are best left in private (at least UNTIL you meet the man of your dreams)! In other words, don’t start a blog!

Of course, I still recommend you speak from your soul and say whatever is on your mind! You should not filter your thoughts, or this exercise in writing a letter to your future husband will not be effective. Just make sure you put your journals or jump drive in a private location!

A Letter to MY Future Husband: How I Did It

The thought of what to write in a letter to your future spouse can almost make a person nervous! After all, you might not end up married one day – by choice! What if you feel ashamed of what you are currently going through and do not wish your future husband to know the details?

You’ve been given some basic guidelines, but if you are still not confident in how to start a letter to your future husband, you can follow my example. It is nothing more than putting pen to paper and, of course, trusting the Lord to guide my heart as I write a love letter to my future husband!

How I Wrote a Letter to My Future Husband (and What He Thinks)

Do you want me to be completely honest with you? When I wrote a letter to my future husband, it was more therapeutic for me than it was something special for him. My husband has enjoyed getting to know me over the past decade – for who I am today, not who I was in the past!

I did give him all the letters I wrote in a journal or two (or maybe a few dozen – ha), but he has not read them all. I think the experience helped me a great deal when I was single, and that is the key takeaway here. Do it for you, not for the man you will one day marry!

After all, he might never read them!! That is okay. It is great to get it all out on paper! I find that writing my letters in a journal by hand is the most beneficial way to express myself. That is just what worked for me and my particular situation!

Things don’t always work out as planned, but they do work out the way they are meant to be!

Did you like the story of how I used to write a letter to my future husband? How will you proceed? Which way will you try?? We’d love to hear all about it! Be sure to leave a comment.

Whatever method you choose, remember the many benefits of writing a letter to a future spouse and have fun with it. It’s all beneficial to you. My only caution is to just make sure you keep it private – especially if you have a lot of prying eyes in your personal life!! Best of luck to you!

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My Demoralizing but Not Surprising Cancellation

About an hour before my first book event, I heard from my publicist that the bookstore had “concerns” about my conversation partner, Rabbi Andy Bachman, because he was a “Zionist.”

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Last Tuesday, I was supposed to have launched my first book, Tablets Shattered: The End of an American Jewish Century and the Future of Jewish Life , with an event at a bookstore in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Dumbo—a conversation between me and the well-known Reform rabbi Andy Bachman.

The event didn’t happen. About an hour before the intended start, I heard from my publicist that the bookstore had “concerns” about Rabbi Bachman because he was a “Zionist.” I received another call while in a car on the way to the store: The manager was now refusing to host the conversation with the rabbi. When I arrived, I asked her why she would not permit the event to go forward as planned. Her response: “We don’t want a Zionist onstage.”

I was taken aback. Rabbi Bachman is an outspoken social-justice advocate and a supporter of the establishment of a Palestinian state (and my former teacher). My book is a history of American Jewish life in the second half of the 20th century, and deals critically with Israel’s treatment of Palestinians. Because of my analysis of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, as well as my reporting about and public opposition to Israel’s military occupation of the West Bank and siege of Gaza, I had feared that synagogues would be reluctant (and surely some still are) to host events. I did not anticipate that the trouble would come from a bookstore in Brooklyn.

Adam Kirsch: The false narrative of settler colonialism

Then again, perhaps I should not have been surprised at all. Since October 7, the public discourse on Israel and Palestine has curdled. Some right-wing supporters of Israel have become cheerleaders for violence. In certain spaces that call themselves progressive, intolerance has become endemic and conspiratorial thinking is on the rise. The result across the board: Nuance has evaporated, and humanity is in short supply.

My would-be book launch also exemplified the bind that many progressive American Jews face. We are caught between parts of an activist left demanding that we disavow our communities, even our families, as an entrance ticket, and a mainstream Jewish institutional world that has long marginalized critics of Israeli policy. Indeed, Jews who are committed to the flourishing of Jewish life in Israel and the Diaspora, and who are also outraged by Israel’s brutal war in Gaza, feel like we have little room to maneuver.

On the one hand, we can no more renounce our families, friends, and communities than we can ourselves, and the demand that we do so is wrong. It is straightforwardly anti-Semitic to ask, as the bookstore manager did with her blanket ban on Zionists, that Jews support Israel’s dismantling as a criterion for participation in intellectual life. This is a condition that most Jews, who when surveyed describe strong attachment to Israel, could not meet. And it is a kind of litmus test that should not be asked (and generally is not) of any other group of people.

On the other hand, we cannot ignore Israel’s devastation of the Gaza Strip, and should be fearful of shifting attention away from the human catastrophe unfolding in the territory. Friends on the left have warned me that making too much of last week’s deplatforming has already had this effect. I worry about bolstering tribalist thinking, which is precisely the mentality that for decades has blinded so many in mainstream Jewish institutions to the grinding, daily injustices of the occupation of the West Bank and siege of Gaza—and, more recently, inured them to the horrific fact that this war has killed tens of thousands of Palestinians, most of them civilians .

But silence about the pitfalls of the left carries its own risks—including risks to the left itself. My experience last week was so demoralizing in part because such episodes make moving the mainstream Jewish community much harder. Every time a left-wing activist insists that the only way to truly participate in the fight for peace and justice is to support the dissolution of Israel, it reinforces the zero-sum (and morally repulsive) idea that opposing the status quo requires Israel’s destruction. Rhetorical extremism and dogmatism make it easier for right-wing Israel supporters to dismiss what should be legitimate demands—for instance, conditions on U.S. military aid—as beyond the pale.

The new left-wing norm that insists on one-state maximalism is not only a moral mistake. It is also a strategic one. If there is one thing that the past year of cease-fire activism has illustrated, it is that changing U.S. policy on Israel requires a broad coalition. That big tent must have room for those who believe in Jewish self-determination and are committed to Israel’s existence, even as they work to end its domination over Palestinians.

Many on the right, not just the far left, scoff at the possibility of such a coalition. For the past several days, my inbox has been filled with hateful crowing that the cancellation of my book launch is the bitter fruit that I and other left-wing Jews deserve. What did I expect? Hadn’t I written more than 100 articles documenting Israeli human-rights abuses and the occupation’s quotidian cruelty? Didn’t I advocate for policies, including boycotts, that would pressure Israel to change its policies? So how could I now complain that similar tactics were being used against me? The ejection of Zionists and Israelis from polite society was on my hands.

To these critics I must insist on a difference between boycotts of entire groups of people based on their identity or the ideas they are assumed to hold, and boycotts of goods produced in unlawfully occupied territories. The former are antithetical to democratic public life—as the owner of the bookstore argued in his statement apologizing for the cancellation. The latter, by contrast, are a staple of nonviolent resistance, crucial tools for achieving genuine democracy.

Arash Azizi: Is a new Palestinian movement being born?

No doubt, I regret certain sentences and even articles I’ve written about Israel in the past, which today I would phrase differently. The October 7 attacks painfully resensitized me to the reality of Israeli Jewish vulnerability, which exists despite the massive power imbalance between Israel and the Palestinians. I was too often willing to overlook this fact. Opening one’s eyes to the dehumanization of Palestinians does not require closing one’s eyes to the dehumanization of Israelis, and vice versa. If Rabbi Bachman and I had been able to have our conversation last week, we could have discussed what might be the one immutable truth about Israel and Palestine these days: Neither Israelis nor Palestinians are going anywhere, and both peoples have the right to equality, dignity, and self-determination. No movement that ignores this reality has any hope of success.

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Letter to My Future Self | Wit & Delight

I’ve seen a lot of letters to past selves. Here’s what I would say to my post-pandemic self, they read. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are the only one you can count on. Slow down. You can’t go through life afraid to live it. You’re going to be so proud of yourself! I even wrote one in 2019, a tough love letter to my twenty-something self. But why look back? What about our future selves? What questions do we want to ask? What do we wonder?

The theme on Wit & Delight this month is “Show Up As Yourself.” So, I was intrigued to write about the possibility of change and speak to a portion of myself I don’t know. I want to explore how the future me might feel. I want to dedicate time to that mystery soul. This person could have children, not have children, experience loss, grow old, find growth, experience unknown pain, and develop new habits. When we write to selves about the past, we know them and there’s a pompous clarity in the writing. Sure, giving advice to our past selves is fun. But is it helpful? How can we best explore who we might become? How can we best break down the walls of the person we’re afraid to see? How do we write about the unknown?

I want to write a letter with more intention. I want to ask questions and discover what scares me about getting older. In a way, that’s what the most honest writing does for us anyway.

When I think about it, we are always (sort of) writing to future versions of ourselves. We write through dreams and aspirations, ideals, and healing. We imagine the future in great depth, struggling to center on the present. But, I want to write a letter with more intention. I want to ask questions and discover what scares me about getting older. In a way, that’s what the most honest writing does for us anyway. Right? Okay, here goes nothing/everything.

Dear future self,

Hi, it’s me from the past. I’m thirty-five. I don’t know how old you are now. I’m envisioning you’re in your sixties. You’ve lived an entire life. You’re as old as your mom was when you wrote this letter. I guess this letter is sort of like inception. I’m so afraid to write this. I’m struggling to imagine who you are. Can I be honest? You’re you, after all. Right now, I feel selfish. I want to tell you all the things I want in my life. I hope you got them. Right now, your thirty-something self is needy. I want a baby. I don’t want a baby. I want more money. I want to live within my means. Beyond my means. I want more time. I want to scoop minutes up and feel like I can’t possibly carry all the hours to the end of my driveway. I want everyone to live forever. I don’t want to experience deep grief. I’m so lucky. I’m so selfish.

If you’re sixty, lucky enough to live until then, I know you’ve experienced pain by now. The deep kind, the oceanic kind, the kind that is so dark and expansive, you wouldn’t be able to explain it to me. Are you okay with that grief? I read this quote in Susan Cain’s book Bittersweet recently (you should read it again and see how you feel). “If we could honor sadness a little more, maybe we could see it—rather than enforced smiles and righteous outrage—as the bridge we need to connect with each other. We could remember that no matter how distasteful we might find someone’s opinions, no matter how radiant, or fierce, someone may appear, they have suffered, or they will.” I didn’t mean to jump right into suffering. That must be my fear pouring through. You’ve always been a deeply melancholic person. You love sad music. You have an acute awareness of passing time. You have a joyful curiosity about specific beauty points in the world. Lately, I’ve identified with the Arabic proverb, “Days of honey, days of onion.” You are the definition of bittersweet. Are you still?

I also read in Bittersweet that, as we get older, we find comfort with the passing of time. I imagine you don’t try and slow it down. You are a quiet way of being, a force of storied tradition, loss, and joy. Does that feel beautiful?

I’m sure you’ve turned toward many humans, loved them, held them, and cared for them. But I hope you’ve done the same for yourself. Somehow, I know you will.

I have some wishes, as well. I hope you transform your sorrow and longings into art. I hope you’ve written a lot of letters. I hope work didn’t consume you, even though you let your job get away from you in your thirties. I hope you gave your parents the stage and the time. I’m sure you’ve turned toward many humans, loved them, held them, and cared for them. But I hope you’ve done the same for yourself. Somehow, I know you will. I want you to remember a few things about this time in your life. I want you to remember how light you felt when you rode Crow, that big chestnut horse you adored. I want you to remember how it felt to see your words in print for the first time, proof you exist. I want you to remember your little yard in front of your first home, the mow lines, and how much you care about grass and impressing the neighbors. I want you to remember late nights in the garage with Jake, refurbishing furniture so everything in your home always reminds you of the work, the polish. I want you to remember the smell of hot tomatoes and summer with your small niece and nephew. I want you to remember their sticky cheeks and bursting, tiny voices. Remember that Jake loves to build you things. Remember the ocean with your mom and sister, how it feels to reach out to them, and love them in the morning fog of Carmel. Remember the Northwoods with your friends when none of you had children. Remember hot, fried buttered buns at fish fries and how much time you had to watch your peonies grow. Remember the feverish wanting of pregnancy , the unknown hope of craving expansiveness, a physical outwardness.

I also want you to remember the hard things. I want you to remember living paycheck to paycheck, not being able to get the things you wanted because you didn’t have enough money. I want you to remember the doctor bills you struggled to pay, crying on the way home from work, not being able to imagine traveling to other countries, and wondering if your life was limited to 200 miles north, east, south, and west of your home. Did you travel more? Do you still feel this? All these things will feel different to you now, perhaps as distant memories. Small moments in your thirties that you’ll read later like you’re starving. Perhaps there’s something else entirely that makes you feel light. I hope you’re still riding. I can imagine you still care about clean yards and a pretty lawn. That’s what makes you a lot like your dad. We carry our family with us everywhere.

When you were in grade school, you’d write long lists of “favorite things” so you could look back years later and read about how much you’d changed. You were obsessed with seeing that, five years ago, you had a crush on so-and-so and loved (god forbid!) The O.C. and the color blue .

All these things will feel different to you now, perhaps as distant memories. Small moments in your thirties that you’ll read later like you’re starving. Perhaps there’s something else entirely that makes you feel light.

Let’s try that again! Right now, I’m really into Brené Brown’s podcast (are podcasts still a thing?), Dirty Shirleys, antiquing, The Vermont Country Store catalog, my Gentle Reminder Calendar , Paper Mate colorful pens , watching Love Island (sorry, future me), dressing like Meryl Streep in It’s Complicated , sleep aids like sipping iced Sleepy Time Tea before bed, horse head bookends, weather patterns, gingham accents, and how Jake looks at me when I’m talking about something I love. Do you still love these things? Do you wish for them? In my Passion Planner , I write down the biggest lesson I learn every month. Here’s what I’ve written this year:

Resonance is important.
Nothing beyond love and kindness matters.
Your anger is you. Not anyone else. Sit inside that.
Stop anticipating, trust the burn.
Being uncomfortable is progress.
Sadness is wide, grief is a close friend.
Nothing should be rushed.
You can always go back.
Hold fear and joy in equal glory. Both can exist at once.
You are always doing better than you think.
Dandelions are good.
To be happy, be more tree.
Don’t go to a concert high.

I’m sure you have so many to add now. Or maybe you don’t. Or maybe you think these are ridiculous. Or maybe you no longer find the need to make “lesson lists.” I’m happy. I have my hard days. I have bad habits. I haven’t gone to the dentist to fill those cavities, so I hope you don’t have five crowns by now. I am putting a lot of money toward my 401K, so I hope I’m setting you up for success. I’m doing my best. That’s the lesson here. My thirty-something best is hopefully your sixty-something peace of mind.

Will people find this article on the internet in twenty-five years? ( Writer’s Note: Please don’t talk to me about how I’ll be sixty years old in twenty-five years.) Will they find it funny? Weird? I’m not sure. Perhaps, like in the past, internet articles will wash up like a lost bottle in the sea—little shards of the lived. And someday, I will come back to this past self, searching for my future. I might have to print it out, just in case. Either way, I hope you’re happy too. I hope life feels full. I hope the people in your life reflect how you have shown your beacon of light in the world, no matter how faint or how strong. Sincerely, Brittany, your thirty-something (past) self

Lastly, I highly recommend you try this exercise.

Writing to a later version of myself gave me some specific clarity about who I want to be and how I want to grow.

Here are some tips to try to write your own “future-self” letter:

Write down what you want to remember.
Write down what you don’t want to remember.
Write about your favorite things.
Jot down notes about how you’re feeling right now.
Scribble down the lessons you’ve learned.
Ask your future self how you’re different now.
Lastly, write a note to yourself in a year, three years, five years… put them in an envelope and write down the date you can read them again.

Will you write yours?

Brittany Chaffee is an avid storyteller, professional empath, and author. On the daily, she gets paid to strategize and create content for brands. Off work hours, it’s all about a well-lit place, warm bread, and good company. She lives in St.Paul with her baby brother cats, Rami and Monkey. Follow her on Instagram , read more about her latest book, Borderline , and (most importantly) go hug your mother.

BY Brittany Chaffee - September 20, 2022

Like what you see? Share Wit & Delight with a friend:

amazing article.

Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

What an interesting thing to do I love this idea!

xo Jessica <a href=”https://anindigoday.com/”>an indigo day</a>

Thank you, Jessica! Let me know if you give it a try!

This was absolutely beautiful – I did not expect to stumble across this this morning. Your writing is soft, and clever, and inspiring. You should be proud of what you created here. Thank you for sharing.

I appreciate this so much 🙂 Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Trying this exercise truly helped me feel closer to myself and I hope it helps others do too! xoxo

This was absolutely beautiful. I didn’t expect to get emotional reading it but as a 36 year old woman so much of what you said was relatable. Thank you

Thank you so kindly, Melissa! This makes my day to hear you could relate to this letter. It was so meaningful for me to write, so I’m happy it was for you as well!

Amazing article! Thanks for the positive and encouraging words of wisdom! 😊

Thank you so much for reading, Britney! Have a lovely weekend!

Thank you for this. I am 70 and my 8 year old adopted daughter has an assignment to do this very thing. I think it will be a great experience for her. Your words reached my heart and came out of my eyes. Thank you

Hello, Diane. It is so incredible to me that your daughter is doing this exercise! I think I did something like it at her age too and I wish I could find that letter now. Thank you for reading and loving.

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Guest Essay

I Swore Off Air-Conditioning, and You Can, Too

An upright fan and a portable air-conditioner in a room.

By Stan Cox

Mr. Cox lives in Salina, Kan., and is the author of “Losing Our Cool: Uncomfortable Truths About Our Air-Conditioned World.”

Whenever people ask me how my wife and I have endured 25 Kansas summers almost entirely without air-conditioning, I like to say we do it because air-conditioning makes it too hot outside. We’re not ascetics, Luddites or misers; we just want to keep living comfortably, indoors and out.

It’s not just that air-conditioning is making our summers even hotter. (On a sweltering night in a city like Houston, the hot air that A.C. units blast out over the streets can raise outdoor temperatures up to three or four degrees.) It’s also that air-conditioning has altered the way most Americans experience heat.

Our bodies have grown so accustomed to climate-controlled indoor spaces, set at a chilly 69 degrees, that anything else can feel unbearable. And the greenhouse gases created by the roughly 90 percent of American households that own A.C. units mean that running them even in balmy temperatures is making the climate crisis worse.

Of course, I’m not suggesting that anyone switch the air off in the middle of a heat wave. Year in and year out, heat waves kill more people than any other type of natural disaster. If you live in Miami or Phoenix, you need air-conditioning to survive the summer. But if you live in the middle of the country, try leaving the air-conditioning off when it’s hot but not too hot.

Our species evolved, biologically and culturally, under wildly varying climatic conditions, and we haven’t lost that ability to adapt. Research suggests that when we spend more time in warm or hot summer weather, we can start feeling comfortable at temperatures that once felt insufferable. That’s the key to reducing dependence on air-conditioning: The less you use it, the easier it is to live without it.

When I was growing up in Georgia, my family moved into our first air-conditioned house when I was 12, and I loved it. But I left home for college in the 1970s, and I’ve lived mostly without A.C. ever since.

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Essay on My Future Goals In Life

Students are often asked to write an essay on My Future Goals In Life in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on My Future Goals In Life

My educational goals.

I aim to finish school with good grades. This means working hard and studying well. I want to understand what I am taught, not just remember it for exams. Learning should be fun, and I plan to enjoy finding out new things.

My Career Ambition

After school, I wish to have a job that I love. I am not sure what it will be yet, but I want to help people and make a difference. It’s important to me that my work feels meaningful.

Personal Development

I also plan to keep improving myself. I want to be kind, patient, and a good friend. Reading books, playing sports, and traveling will help me grow. I will strive to be healthy and happy.

Community Service

Lastly, I hope to give back to my community. Volunteering at local places like libraries or shelters is something I look forward to. I believe even small actions can make a big impact.

250 Words Essay on My Future Goals In Life

My dream job, helping my community.

Another important goal for my future is to help my community. I want to do things like clean up parks and help people who do not have homes or enough food. It feels good to help others, and I want to do my part to make my town a better place for everyone.

Staying Healthy

Staying healthy is also a big goal for me. I plan to eat healthy foods like fruits and vegetables and to exercise by playing sports or going for runs. Being healthy will help me have the energy to reach my other goals.

Learning Every Day

My last goal is to keep learning new things all my life. I want to read lots of books and maybe even travel to different countries to learn about other cultures. The world is full of interesting things, and I want to know as much as I can.

In conclusion, my future goals are to become a teacher, help my community, stay healthy, and keep learning. These goals will make me happy and will be good for the people around me too.

500 Words Essay on My Future Goals In Life

Introduction to my future goals.

Everyone has dreams about what they want to do in the future. I am no different. I have many goals that I want to reach as I grow up. These goals help me stay focused and work hard. In this essay, I will share some of my future goals in life.

Education Goals

Career goals.

After finishing college, I want to have a job that I love. I am not sure what job that will be yet, but I know I want it to be something that makes me happy and helps other people. Maybe I will be a teacher, a doctor, or an engineer. No matter what, I want to work hard and be good at what I do. I also want to keep learning new things even when I am working. This will help me do my job better.

Health and Fitness Goals

Being healthy is also one of my goals. I want to eat healthy foods and exercise regularly. Playing sports, going for walks, and riding my bike are fun ways to stay fit. Being healthy will help me have the energy to reach my other goals. I also want to learn how to cook healthy meals. This way, I can take care of my body and feel good every day.

Personal Goals

Travel goals.

I love to see new places and learn about different cultures. So, one of my goals is to travel. I don’t need to go far. Even exploring new places in my own country is exciting. Traveling helps me understand the world better and meet new people.

Conclusion: Staying Positive and Working Hard

To reach all these goals, I know I need to stay positive and work hard. Sometimes things might be tough, but I will keep trying. I will also ask for help when I need it. Teachers, family, and friends can all help me stay on track. I am excited for the future and all the things I will learn and do. These goals are like a map for my life, and I am ready to follow it.

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!